I'm sitting down to start this blog post at 2 a.m...Either I have completely lost my mind, have officially crossed the line between night owl and insomniac, or maybe this blog post will be so profound and wonderful it just had to be written immediately. My vote is option 2! Anyway, on to the actual focus of this post, which is how social media can either help us or hinder us during the fight for social justice. You can do so much with social media these days; you can blog for an audience of about four as I do (I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm sure I have a solid five readers! LOL), you can make Youtube videos, such as the "It Gets Better" campaign, you can make a facebook page about an issue you are passionate about (or you can just inundate people with 50 posts in one day and then not talk about the issue for months at a time and lather, rinse, repeat, but this isn't super effective, as I've discovered),you can tweet about issues in 140 characters or less on Twitter, and goodness knows what else. All of that is fantastic for spreading the word about issues, but it is also a good way to start controversy. This isn't always a bad thing; respectful debates can be very enlightening, lively, and interesting. However, as soon as people start name-calling, yelling, and ending friendships over posts, then Houston we have a problem. We can't change the world if we're too busy bickering. Here are some strategies to help you through a particularly difficult debate:
1. IF YOU ARE ANGRY,DO NOT SAY OR DO THE FIRST THING THAT POPS IN YOUR HEAD!! I learned this one the hard way when I blurted out "F--- YOU!" when someone I had been arguing with finally got on my last nerve. Sadly, I didn't learn that lesson right away; I had to make the mistake a few more times with other people, just to be sure. Don't be like me! Before you respond to something that makes you angry, take a step back and ask yourself what an appropriate response in this situation is. Sometimes, a simple "that's offensive because (fill in the blank) and here's why you shouldn't say that" or "well, we're going to have to agree to disagree" will be sufficient. Other times, if you feel like you are in some kind of danger or you just find their beliefs so completely against what you stand for, you may need to report them/delete them/block them depending on the specific situation. However, more often than not, the best approach is to ignore minor offenses and move on. If you show people that you will not be drawn in to a screaming match and stay calm, you will earn more respect than if you lose your cool.
2. In any discussion , "I" or "we" language is significantly more effective than "you" language."I think you should consider," "I believe," "I feel," and "I know" or "we can agree to disagree" and "why don't we talk about this when we are calmer?" will get you a lot further than "you're wrong about this because blah blah blah" or "You should" or "You need to." "You" language tends to make people feel attacked, while "I" and "we" language tends not to.
3. If someone is clearly not receptive to your message, don't keep pushing them to agree with you. They will dig their heels in further the more you push them. It's guaranteed. Sometimes you just need to let things go. Trust me, I know this isn't easy, especially about issues near and dear to us, but it's better than letting things get out of hand, which can happen very easily during a discussion about controversial topics.
4. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE, ESPECIALLY IF THE DISCUSSION, DEBATE, ETC, IS HAPPENING ONLINE: Please remember that there is a person behind the angry statuses, belligerent messages, and unyielding posts. Social media makes it easy to forget that we are dealing with people, not just machines. People have feelings, and if we forget that, we run the risk of insulting or alienating others, and harming our cause more than we help it. I'm guilty of this one, but I'm learning to be more accepting of others with opposing viewpoints. That old saying "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" is vital for the social justice activist to remember. People won't respond positively if you yell, call them names,etc. That approach leads to hurt feelings, anger, and will almost definitely cause the other person to dig their heels in further and believe in their viewpoint even more than before. No matter how upset you are, remember that the people you disagree with are still people deserving of kindness and respect. Even if their beliefs seem wrong. Even if they are misinformed. Even if you just generally don't like the person you are arguing with, please, remember that you are talking to a person, a child of God, someone with inherent dignity and worth, who is deserving of respect! Sometimes, all you can do is maintain a respectful tone while you poke holes in an inherently flawed argument. Other times, you may actually be able to concede a point from their argument, which brings me to number 5.
5. Don't be afraid to admit when someone has given you something to think about! This doesn't mean you have to completely overhaul your entire worldview. It just means you have something to think about. That's all. It may alter your belief slightly, it may change it completely, or you may do some research on the point and realize that you still disagree with the other person. The important thing is, conceding someone's point once in a while makes them makes them feel heard while also giving you a chance to research an important issue even further than I'm sure you already have. Which brings us neatly to point six.
6. Get your facts straight! Seriously, if you're going to debate a controversial issue with someone who completely disagrees with you, please please please know the facts behind your argument before you start arguing. Don't guess about the important statistics, look them up. Don't quote someone without being absolutely sure that you know who said it and have a fairly solid idea of the context in which the quote was being used. This takes time and effort, but it is so worth it! Don't destroy the credibility of your argument by misspelling, misquoting, or giving wrong information!
Readers, my challenge for you is probably fairly obvious given the topic of this blog post, but I'll put it out there anyway for tradition's sake. I challenge you to utilize these strategies the next time you are in a difficult debate. Good luck in your quest to change the world, one respectful dialogue at a time! God bless!
